It is time to give shipping the X Factor treatment

JUST how much do you know about medical technology? There is a range of companies, services and systems for the development of equipment that help doctors detect and treat an increasing range of ailments.

What? You don’t now much about it? The people in the industry, the highly trained researchers, doctors and engineers, think it is one of the most important technology areas — and has a direct influence on human society.

Okay, I don’t know that much about the medical industry either. There is not much reason to; we all trust that the equipment works, that the medical professions and their technology are properly controlled.

So tell me this: how much does your best friend — hopefully an average representation of the human race — know about shipping? Perhaps not a lot.

Now, when you decided to tell your friend about shipping, you will want to explain ships, insurance, finance, freight rates, cargo and ship contracts, port operations, navigation, environmental safety…
Because shipping is not one single industry, but the meeting point of numerous, it is difficult to explain. I reckon most people will know a ship carries cargo, of some sort or another — but perhaps when you start talking about ship registers and freight rates, your friend’s eyes may glaze over.

The International Maritime Organization has decided it wants to promote shipping’s image. It has a very vague idea of how to do this; it just wants people to appreciate it more.

The fact is simple: the general public are not interested . However, they do appreciate a good story. The UK’s Channel Five had a programme, Top Trumps. It sent two presenters, one to the Emma Maersk, the other to a large cruiseship, to make comparisons — engines, crew, speed, weight. Amusing, informative and digestible.

The IMO should learn from this. It should give me the funds to make a Hollywood blockbuster, not a ‘Titanic’. How about an action film set in the Gulf of Aden, with khat-chewing baddies making life an adventure — a real Johnny Depp swashbuckling extravaganza?

That might be a slight exaggeration of life at sea — but let’s face it, a film about real life onboard a tanker or containership is hardly going to be Oscar-winning material.

Perhaps the IMO secretary-general should appear on a television game show, like X Factor, or Masterchef? Or perhaps the IMO offices could be refurbished by one of those house renovation programmes every channel seems to have — surely one way to spread the name of the organisation and make viewers shipping savvy.